The Power of INFJ and Introvert Self-Love

There is power when the INFJ comes to a place of self-love and self-acceptance.

I believe that the key to happiness is being able to truly love yourself for your beautiful unique self. I know this can be incredibly hard for an INFJ can do, but when you learn this, it is powerful and life-changing.

The INFJ Door Slam

Inside the INFJ Door Slam: Unveiling the hidden spooky depths!

The INFJ Door Slam is such an interesting topic... What is it?

What does it look like?

Why does the INFJ do a door slam?

And more important, how can the INFJ recover from an INFJ door slam?

In this video we talk all about this... All the nitty gritty information.

I share the two ways an INFJ door slam can look... 5 reasons why an INFJ might choose to door slam... Plus 6 Steps an INFJ can take to help recover from an INFJ door slam.

The Spiritual INFJ

I bet you that if you’re an INFJ, gentle soul or empath… then you’re a spiritual person.

And if you’re not, then you’re probably missing one of the  greatest fundamentals of what makes a healthier and happier INFJ overall.

Most of the INFJ’s I chat with have some sort of a spiritual practice.

I think INFJ’s are the personality type that are most drawn towards spirituality.

That would be because of their core characteristics that make up who they are… Their introspective nature, empathy, and of course having a strong intuition.  Every INFJ I have ever come across… and don’t forget I’m a counsellor for INFJ’s… have this deep desire to understand themselves more, and understand the world around them. INFJ’s are the type of people that find meaning and purpose in life, in everything that they do. What’s not spiritual about that?


I believe, and I’m open to hear your opinions in the comments, that there are three areas a person needs to balance to have a positive overall wellbeing. That is looking after their body…. Their mind… and their soul.

It can be difficult for some INFJ’s to have a spiritual practice. Especially if you have a past of religious or church trauma. I feel like INFJ’s can sometimes be quite… naïve, or vulnerable.. .to being taken advantage of in this way.

Look, I’m not going to go through it here.. it’s a topic for another time, talking about religious trauma, it’d be kinda like opening a can of worms.  Eck … But I will say this… I have lived experience of spiritual abuse and church abuse, and when I did leave the church, I also completely disregarded any aspect of spirituality.

It was a long journey for me to find that part of myself again and to implement practices into my own spiritual life. But when I DID finally figure out what I believe and where my values lie, and how I can nurture that soul level of myself, it was incredibly healing and took me on a new pathway of wellness and wellbeing. I fully expect that as I age, as will you, this may change in the way it looks… Afterall, we are forever evolving and learning.

Let’s talk about some ways that we can express our spirituality…

This can be simply in the way we live our life. Living a life of mindfulness and being present in our bodies. I know that as an INFj, it can be incredibly hard to be in our bodies, which is why I think it’s important we make this a practice… We can learn to mindfully live in the simple tasks.

Such as when we are hanging up the washing, we can practice feeling the grass beneath our feet… the sun on our face… the scent of the freshly washed clothes… hearing the birds chirp in the distance… feeling gratitude in our hearts for the simple pleasures of life.

For others, it could be having a practice of journaling and reading oracle cards. Of putting time aside to be within yourself, your thoughts, your heart, to allow words to flow from you… To shuffling the deck and asking for guidance, and connecting with the cards you pull.

This could be little rituals of lighting a candle and expressing gratitude. Or lighting incense and taking a moment to be present.

For others, it could be prayer and meditation… Trusting that whatever is happening in your life, that it will all be ok, that the next steps will be revelaed to you. Holding hope and peace in your heart.

It could be having a life of dance and song… Moving your body, sharing your voice, expressing your spirituality through this way.

Or through the arts, and allowing your creativity to flow and shine.

 For others, it could be living a life of kindness and giving to others. For standing up for the rights of the disadvantaged or giving back to your community. It could be doing random acts of kindness and choosing to be a blessing to others through your generosity.

Spirituality could look like connecting with creation- nature and the animals around us, or paying attention to the phases of the moon.

Being with our pets… Feeling the earth under our feet… Talking with the birds and wildlife. In my backyard we have a possum that lives with us… once, she presented her brand new baby to us. I have magpies that have built a nest where they have their babies.

Almost everyday I have a Mumma magpie who comes to say hello… When she is here with me, staring into my eyes, I feel that deep sense of spiritual connection. I don’t really know how to explain it… But it’s special.

What does spiritualty look like for you? How do you practice spirituality?

Let me ask you… How do you feel when you live a regular life of spirituality? Within yourself and the world around. Are you happier? Are you more hopeful? Do you feel like you’re in a better place of healing when you connect in this way?

If you feel like you need extra guidance… or to talk to someone about your spritiual practices and figuring out what it is that you believe.. My doors are always open for counselling appointments.. I’m able to see people worldwide, except the US and Canada.

Inside The Therapy Room with Sam Sellers

I had the opportunity to be on a Podcast by Sam Sellers from Anchored Counselling Services. I love collaborating with other therapists in this way! Sam Sellers has a Podcast where she chats with other counsellors every week.

I’d love for you to have a listen. In this episode we dive into counselling for INFJ’s, introverts, empaths and HSP’s.

INFJ's Dealing With Imposter Syndrome

Nothing breaks my heart more than when I see INFJ’s and gentle souls struggle with imposter syndrome.

Most INFJ’s that I have come across have a deep desire to leave a positive impact on this world.. Whether that’s through online entrepreneuship or starting non-for-profits… The thing is, this little thing of Imposter Syndrome gets in the way… creates a block.. and causes the INFJ’s to freeze up and not get anything done.

I sometimes wonder how many amazing things we could see in the world if w didn’t allow our imposter syndrome to get a hold of us.

What exactly is imposter syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is that sneaky little thing that whispers in your ear, “You’re a fraud. You’re not good enough. Who do you think you are?” It’s that anxious feeling of not being qualified enough in doing what you’re doing, or being incompetent at your job. Can you believe that even PhD holders in their field, can still experience imposter syndrome?

Let me know in the comments what you think about this… But I feel like INFJ’s experience imposter syndrome because they are such big picture people and they have a thirst for knowledge. The problem is, the more you learn and read and grow, the more you realise that there is so much that you don’t yet know…. And because you have this knowledge that there’s still so much to learn and read about, you can begin to feel unqualified or incompetent in what you do.

I’m no stranger to imposter syndrome… In my 20’s I studied the highest qualification to become a Youth Worker, but then spent the next 10 years feeling like a complete imposter, wondering when people were going to figure out that I didn’t really know what I was doing.

Now that I’m a counsellor… I’m very aware of what imposter sysndrome looks like and how it can rear it’s ugly head. The more I learn about therapy and how to be the best therapist, always highlights to me how far I’ve got to go on my journey… But just because there’s still so much to learn and improve on, doesn’t mean that I don’t know what I’m doing today.

Ofcourse I’ll always be learning!

Just like you. You should always be striving to learn and grow, right up until old age. But just because there’s continuous learning to be had, doesn’t mean you’re a fraud or an imposter.. You are probably excellent at what you do.

INFJ’s also probably struggle with imposter syndrome because of perfectionism. If you gave me a dollar for every person that has told me they’re a perfectionist… Well… I’d be incredibly rich. We can get stuck and frozen in place, because sometimes for us to launch something, we feel like it needs to be perfect first. The trick is, you gotta learn that not everything needs to be perfect.. There is beauty in the imperfect. There is power in ability to show up as your raw and authentic imperfect self. Yes, do what you can to make something incredible… But don’t get in a place where you do nothing for the fear it won’t be good enough.

 If you want to overcome the feeling of imposter syndrome.. You might need to do some inner work and reflect on what your core beliefs are. You can help change your story.. If you know what your thoughts are, you know where they come from, you have more power to change the narrative.

And ofcourse.. it’s time to embrace your authentic self… I’ll sing this until the cows come home…. It’s important that you learn to come to a place of self-acceptance and self-love. To embrace all of your qualities.. the good, the bad, and the ugly. To celebrate your strengths and love your weaknesses. Remind yourself that you’re not a fraud… you know what you’re doing… and if you don’t know, you’ll learn.

It's time to look imposter syndrome in the eye and say enough is enough… Get up, brush it off, and do the thing. Whatever that thing is. Start your business. Create your logo. Take steps and action. Small steps is always better than no steps.

Know that I believe in you… You’ve got this… If you need extra support in the process, you can book an appointment with me.

A short story on leaving paper cranes of hope in the community...

I see you, dear one. 

 From the moment I pick out the origami paper, I am holding you in my thoughts. 

 As I sit in quiet contemplation, folding a paper crane, it is you that I am thinking of. 

 With each crease of the paper, within each fold, as the paper crane is formed- I’m meditating on the hope and healing that is available for you.
I am sending out positive intentions your way, wanting to enthuse courage into your being- reminding you, that there is more.

More joy. More life. More love and peace…

More hope and healing.

 As I write the message that I leave with the paper crane, I am picturing the smile on your face as you read it.
A small spark of joy found in your day. An unexpected gift that you have stumbled upon. 

 I imagine you finding the paper crane- tucked away inside a café. On a park bench. Hanging from a tree.
Wherever it is, I see you finding it… or, rather, it finding you.

In its own perfect divine timing. 

This is a disappointing truth for INFJ's.

Sometimes, being an INFJ, it can feel like when you’re going through a hard time… No one is actually there for you.

The world can feel like a lonely place when you are met with challenge after challenge.

Normally, what happens for an INFJ when life is kicking them down… Is that they tend to turn into their hermit mode… Retreating from the world and hiding away.

Being in a place of isolation can have it’s positives and it’s negatives. It’s great for rebuilding your energy levels… But at times, it can also be to your detriment, especially when you really need your mates around.

Many INFJ’s feel like when life gets hard, they don’t’ hear from anyone. No one calls them. No one checkes in on them. It can feel like nobody actually cares.

If you don’t’ be careful, this can turn into a deep resentment towards the loved ones in your life.

 I want to myth bust this phenomenon… Because I truly believe that what your perceiving may not necessarily be the case. And of course, I’m keen to heart your thoughts on this and for you to join the discussion in the comments. Don’t’ forget to subscribe to my channel while you’re there.

Let’s reflect on this for a moment… If an INFJ is an intuitive feeling person, then it would make sense that they are able to pick up on the subtle cues of their friends, when their FRIENDS are having a hard time. It’s normally the INFJ that would call , support , and be there for them. INFJ’s are known to be loyal and strong friends, willing to sacrifice their own needs for others.

 And so, when it’s the INFJ’s turn to have a rough patch… it can feel really disconcerting that their own mates don’t support them in the same way. It can feel very one sided… Topsy turvy.. Frustrating… Not quite right. But as an INFJ, we need to remember that everybody is wired differently… Not everyone has the same superpowers as us… Our strengths are not always their strengths. Just like their strengths can sometimes be our weakness. They may not actually be picking up on the subtle cues that you’re throwing out. Your silence and isolation may not be perceived as a sign that you’re struggling. They may be thinking that they’re respecting your need to be alone and for time out, especially if you keep declaring that you’re an introvert.

If you’re struggling, and you feel like you need your friends support… You might have to do that scary brave thing, and let them know. You might need to send a text message, or god-forbid CALL THEM… and say, “Hey! I’m having a really hard time. Can we catch up for coffee?”

It might actually surprise you… But your friends aren’t ditching you… They just didn’t know.

I bet you that their perception of you is that you’re strong. Resilient. And got your shit together. But even strong, resilient people sometimes need support and love. They’re not going to go know that though, unless you tell them.

 I do want to encourage you with something.. I know it can be hard to speak up when life is getting you down… But there is a strength in sharing your vulnerability. It takes a lot of courage in doing that. And if you feel like you need extra support from someone, who ISN’T a friend… Then maybe it’s time to seek counselling. I’m able to provide INFJ counselling to people all over the world… except the US and Canada… and I’d be thrilled if you booked an appointment with me.

This is why INFJ's carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.

If you’re an INFJ, empath or gentle soul… I know you’re going to relate to this. At times, it can feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders! This can be an exhausting position to be in.

Let’s explore the reasons why in this video.