I made a very bad promise to myself. Don’t make the same mistake that I did.
When I was a kid, I made a very bad promise to myself.
It affected me greatly, more than I would ever know.
You see, when I was 12 years old I had a classmate and friend die tragically from a car accident. I was in such shock by the news that my body reacted by violently laughing.
No matter what I did, the tears wouldn’t come.
In a way, that made me feel powerful. Like I was strong and could get through anything.
A few years later I had a family member (a very bad family member) pass away. I remember at his funeral I refused to cry.
I did not want to cry for the man that destroyed my life.
When we were sitting in the funeral, I could feel the tears prickling behind my eyes. I remember pinching my hands to make them stop. Because, how could I cry for this man and not for my friend?
And I made a promise.
A very bad promise.
I made a promise that I would never cry. That it was stronger to keep the tears inside.
Boy was I wrong.
This began a lifetime of holding back the tears. Even when I really really wanted to, it was like my body would physically rebel and not let me.
At times, when I’ve felt the dam build up inside, I’ve needed to get acupuncture to release them. (Yes it worked.)
You see, tears are so powerful.
In fact, research shows us that:
Crying is self-soothing. By releasing tears, it activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps us to relax.
Shedding tears help to release oxytocin and endorphins. These chemicals help us to feel good, and can help sooth physical and emotional pain.
Crying can improve our mood.
New research is showing that crying can help release stress hormones out of our body.
Releasing tears can help us sleep better.
I know that for many people right now… Life is tough.
With the cost of living crisis, job instability, the politics of the world, and everything else going on…
Life is really really tough.
If you feel those tears welling up behind your eyes, may I encourage you to not stop them.
But release them.
Let them flow down your face and know that by doing so- it’s helping you heal and feel better.
In fact, just this morning, I had a nice big old cry. (Yes that’s right! I can cry now.)
And it felt SO good.
Something important to note…
Sometimes, persistent crying can be a sign of depression. You may have depression if your crying:
Happens very frequently.
Happens for no apparent reason.
Starts to affect daily activities
Becomes uncontrollable
Know that you aren’t alone, there is support for you.
You can either see your GP or book a Counselling appointment in with me.